Tidal Wave

At this point, my website www.nauticalmilebooks.com has washed over 40 states within the US and 32 different countries around the world.  Not bad for having been put together by a girl sitting in her PJ's at the dining room table! 

It's such a joy to see new visitors daily.  Here's the short list of states that have yet to visit my site:  Alaska, New Mexico, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota and New Hampshire 

If you have friends and family in these states ... spread the word that the Water Child has come!  I'm closing in on all 50 states, DC and Puerto Rico.  It's a personal goal that I fully intend to celebrate.  Dancing, hula hoops, whooping calls and the like will be shouted out from my little doorstep in the dead of night .... I'll appologize in advance to my neighbors.

Legend of the Lunatic Mama

I was joking around with my son, Kyle, and we sat down and wrote this poem.  I hope you enjoy it!

LEGEND OF THE LUNATIC MAMA

By: Donna and Kyle McCartney

There was once a beautiful, kind-hearted, fair haired angel that grew up to become a loving mother.

She made three sisters and two brothers.  She had one more, but they destroyed the other.

Her kids were horrid little monsters that ate her out of house and home.

Who wouldn’t eat their veggies and gave each other wedgies.

Constantly slurping, farting and burping.

Who wouldn’t bathe or brush their teeth.

That fought all day and all night and wouldn’t do anything right.

Jumping on the furniture and bouncing on the bed. 

Her children didn’t listen to anything that she said.

Mother’s face furrowed with a frown, as the kids turned her world upside down.

She ripped at her hair and wrung her hands.  Hormones surged through her mammary glands.

Her heart was filled with dread.  And then one day, the kids came upon her … obviously dead.

Mother tossed and turned in the devil’s keep, undergoing a transformation in her sleep.

She rose with the devil by her side, looking for her children who ran off to hide.

Cracking a whip, she demanded that her kids ~ shut up and sit.

She ordered them to clean up their room or it was doom, doom, DOOM!!!!!

And that was only the beginning; her kids’ heads were spinning …

Gone were the days of dragon’s breath and beating each other half to death!

She’d silenced the slurping, farting and burping.

She’d squashed the wedgie brigade in a single stormy tirade.

Every child let out a thunderous SCREAM, because the Lunatic Mama had invaded their perfect dream.

Mother said with a sinister grin that she’d let the wolves in.

They’d eat every bad girl and boy while stealing their favorite toy.

She had her hands on her hips wielding her newfound power. 

Then shouted over her shoulder as she strutted off to take a refreshing shower:

They were to be nice to each other and take care of one another.

And above all else – cherish their Mother.

Fourth of July Celebration

In observance of the 4th of July, books 1-4 in the Nautical Mile Series will be available for free Kindle download.  Catch up with Remo, Ames, and Sabin in my original tale following the exploits of the Seager brothers.  Explore Treasure Trove, VA and get lost on Fable Sound.  Discover the magic world of Aquatica hidden beneath the waves.  Get ready for adventure and set your course for happy reading!